Dad died on June 3rd
I know it's been a couple of weeks sense I've written anything and there's a good reason. My Dad died on June 3rd at 12:o7 am. It was kind of sudden and no one expected Dad to die in such short notice.
My Mom called me sometime Wednesday afternoon June 1st and said that Dad had Flu Like symptoms and that he was sick to his stomach. Dad was going to take a half day off on Thursday and go in to work around noon if he felt better. I told Mom he should take the whole day off cause it would probably do him some good and he had a ton of unused sick time. I also told Mom that I would check in on Dad Thursday afternoon to see how he was doing. I called Dad on Thursday around 5:00 pm and he told me that he still didn't feel well. That was unusual for Dad, he never admitted to not feeling well. I advised him to take the next couple of days off and that I loved him. Dad said "I love you too Joel" and that was the last time I talked to him. He died hours later.
At the funeral services I shared a story about myself. At the age of 3 or 4 I was hit in the eye with a baseball. Consequently I developed a fear of the baseball. In my pre-teen years my Dad made me play baseball for coach syfert. A very rigid and strick person who coached the same way and that's putting it nicely! I think Dad told him that I was afraid of the baseball and that he wanted him (Mr. Syfert) to work with me in practice and to help me overcome my fear. Mr. Syfert did just that and I assure you that if he were to coach today someone or parent would call social services on him, all kidding aside. My Dad knew that it was tough but he continued to encourage me in practice and games. He knew it was good to put me through it and he was right cause it cured my fear.
With that said my Dads yoke was easy. I'll explain what I mean. A yoke is a burden put on you by something or someone. All parents put a yoke on their kids in one way or another. My Dads yoke on me and my siblings was easy. Although he held us accountable to that burden he did it with a carring loving and encouraging hand and thats why it was easy not hard or harsh.
I loved my Dad very much. I realize how much each day cause my memories of him and the idea that he's passed away reminds me how much I love him and miss him. It kinda lingers over me, always in the back of my mind until something or someone reminds me of him or some event we were to do together in the near future and then the reality of his passing comes rushing back.
I keep thinking that I'm ready to move on but I'm not. I hope soon I'll be able to live with the reality of his passing and I'm sure I will. As for now I just have to take it one moment at a time..

